Day Three Of The 10th Annual End Of Summer Fast & Detox: Where Are You?

Confronting the falls, wounds, & patterns that are shaping who you’re becoming.

First, let me apologize for this being as late as it is. Life was lifeing yesterday. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, time was not on my side.

Maybe that’s fitting, because today we’re asking ourselves a question that God asked Adam in the garden, Where are you? Not where do you want to be. Not where do you think you should be. Where are you?

Yesterday, we dug into who we are in God. Today, I want us to look at the places where we’ve fallen, the things that have shaped us, and the ways those things may still be showing up in our lives today.

As I’ve been reading through Genesis during this fast and preparing for this next season, I was blown away by something I hadn’t really considered before.

We all know the story of Adam and Eve. They ate from the tree, sin entered the world, and they were removed from the garden. So often, we tell the story as if that was the end of it, as if humanity was doomed because of the fall. But it wasn’t the end.

Even after their fall, God’s grace and goodness were still present. After Adam and Eve sinned, God still covered them. He still provided for them. He still spoke to them. Their disobedience did not erase God’s presence or His purpose for them.

Then I think about Cain and Abel. Cain’s fall was rooted in jealousy, and that jealousy ultimately led him to kill his brother. You would think that would be the thing that completely separated him from God. But even after Cain’s sin, God still covered him. Cain had consequences for what he did, but God placed a mark of protection over him.

Then there’s Abraham. God blessed Abraham, gave him purpose, and called him to leave his father’s house with the promise that He would make him the father of many nations. You would think that someone with such a significant calling would get everything right. 

But he didn’t. When Abraham and Sarah went into a new place, Abraham became afraid that they would kill him because of Sarah. So he asked her to say that she was his sister instead of his wife. That was his fall, but God didn’t abandon him there.

And then there was Sarah. She became tired of waiting on God’s promise to make her a mother, so she decided to take matters into her own hands. She gave Hagar to Abraham so that they could have a child through her. Sarah tried to fulfill God’s promise on her own timeline. And yet, God still fulfilled His promise.

These are just a few examples of people who had a fall, but God didn’t leave them there. I think that’s important for us to remember because, as humans, we drop the ball. We make mistakes. Sometimes we knowingly do things we shouldn’t do. Sometimes our choices are rooted in fear, insecurity, impatience, jealousy, control, or our desire to be accepted. Our fall is not the end of our story.

So today, I want you to ask yourself, what was your fall? I don’t want you to think about this question as a way to shame yourself or sit in everything you’ve done wrong. That’s not the point. I want you to identify it because sometimes we think our lives ended at the moment we made the mistake.

I’m sure Adam and Eve could have thought that. They sinned, they were exposed, and they were removed from the garden. They could have assumed that God was finished with them. But He wasn’t.

Sometimes we do the same thing. We make a mistake, and subconsciously we decide that our life, our purpose, our identity, or our relationship with God is now defined by that mistake. Let me remind you, there is nothing you can do to separate yourself from God’s love. No sin. No mistake. No place you can go. No version of yourself that you became. His love does not disappear because you fell.

So think about what rocked your world.

It could be one mistake.

It could be a pattern.

It could be something you did years ago that still affects how you see yourself today.

Once you identify your fall, I want you to think about how it has shown up throughout your life.

I’ll share an example.

Growing up, I have a lot of memories of getting in trouble because of boys. For the longest time, I thought my problem was that I was just boy crazy. But the older I got and the more I began to self reflect, I realized it wasn’t really about boys, it was about attention.

I was seeking attention from the wrong places because, underneath that, I wanted to feel chosen. I wanted approval. I wanted to feel accepted. That craving for attention has shown up in multiple ways throughout my life.

Sometimes it looked like sneaking.

Sometimes it looked like lying.

Sometimes it looked like spending money I shouldn’t have spent.

Sometimes it looked like people pleasing.

A lot of my greatest falls, especially when I was younger, involved other people. I’m not saying that to blame anyone because ultimately, my choices were mine. When I look back, I can see the root.

I wanted to be accepted.

I wanted to be chosen.

I wanted attention.

And I was willing to compromise myself to get it.

Another example is my need to play god.

Throughout my life, there has been a constant theme of control. I’ve had to learn how to kill my flesh daily because there have been times when I’ve tried to play god, not just in my own life, but in the lives of people around me. Every time I tried to control something that God never asked me to control, it led me somewhere I didn’t need to go.

When I look over my life, I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but a lot of those mistakes were rooted in the same things. Same mistake, different cover.

That’s what I want you to look for today. Look over your life and ask yourself, what did my choices and mistakes teach me about my identity?

For me, some of my falls created a false belief that I was only valuable when I was doing something for someone else. That I had to prove my love. That I had to perform to be worthy of being chosen.

It also created this subconscious belief that attention meant someone liked me, which caused me to become a people pleaser. When you believe something about yourself long enough, you start making decisions from that belief.

So once you identify your fall, I want you to ask yourself, what did I start believing about myself because of it? And then ask, Is that actually true? Because sometimes the biggest thing we need to repent from isn’t just the action. It’s the lie we started believing about ourselves because of the action.

Next, I want you to think about how you thought your life would end there. Maybe it wasn’t literal. Maybe you didn’t think your life was actually over. But subconsciously, we can start living as if our mistake is the final chapter.

But look at Genesis. God’s promises didn’t become void because people messed up.

Adam and Eve fell.

Cain fell.

Abraham fell.

Sarah fell.

Yet God continued to work.

So when God asked Adam, “Where are you?”, I believe that question is still relevant for us today.

Where are you?

Are you living in the mistakes you made, or are you living in the grace that carries you forward? If you stay stuck in the fall, it will continue to show up in your life.

That was something I had to learn for myself. Until I got to the root of some of my greatest falls, they continued to show up with different faces and in different situations.

So today, identify how your “fall” has impacted the way you show up now. Whether it was big or small, ask God to reveal what was underneath it. Then pray for the grace to forgive yourself and the courage to change the patterns that no longer serve the person God is calling you to become.

For Those Of You Detoxing

Today, we’re asking a slightly different question, what and who hurt you? We show up in life based on our experiences. We are, in many ways, a compilation of everything good and bad that has happened to us.

So today, I want you to think about what hurt you early in life.

Was it a parent leaving?

A friend breaking your heart?

Being neglected?

Feeling rejected by the people you wanted to fit in with?

Not feeling chosen?

Not feeling seen?

What hurt you? You can’t heal what you refuse to address. Believe it or not, some of the things that hurt us growing up are still showing up in our lives today.

There’s a book by Oprah called What Happened to You? that really speaks to this idea. We are deeply impacted by what happens to us, and those experiences can shape how we respond to people, how we love, how we communicate, and how we see ourselves.

Another book that helped me confront some of my own patterns is How We Heal.

For a long time, I thought trauma only happened to people who experienced extreme situations, sexual assault, major loss, or something that seemed obviously traumatic. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that pain can take many forms, and experiences that we minimize can still shape us.

So today, I want you to go as deep as you can. Think about your younger years. What rocked your world?

And then think about that little boy or little girl. How are they still driving a part of your life today?

For me, younger Dymond wanted attention, but underneath that was a desire to be chosen. There were wounds connected to my relationship with my dad that I hadn’t fully dealt with, and those wounds eventually affected how I dated and how I showed up in relationships.

Those same wounds showed up in my friendships too. I overcompensated, which ultimately led to people pleasing.

That’s the thing about unresolved pain. It doesn’t always stay where it started. It follows us, shows up in adulthood. It shows up in relationships, our reactions, and the choices we make. Especially when we don’t stop long enough to ask, Why am I responding this way?

So today, think about what hurt you. Think about who hurt you. Think about the younger version of yourself who experienced it. Then ask yourself how that pain is still showing up today.

Once you pinpoint it, I want you to choose one step toward breaking the pattern.

Maybe that step is forgiveness.

Maybe it’s booking a therapy session.

Maybe it’s having a conversation you’ve been avoiding.

Maybe it’s mending a relationship with a phone call.

Maybe it’s finally setting a boundary.

Or maybe, for you, it’s as simple as forgiving yourself and giving yourself grace.

Whatever it is, take one step. The goal isn’t just to identify what happened to you. The goal is to stop allowing what happened to you to dictate who you become.

So today, ask yourself, Where are you? What was your fall? Who or what hurt you? And how is it still showing up in your life today?

Then bring it to God. Because the same God who covered Adam and Eve after their fall is still the God who covers you.

Your fall is not the end. Your pain is not your identity. What happened to you does not have to determine what happens next.

I definitely plan on being on time for the next four days, meet back here later on this evening.