Finding My Rhythm Again After Moving: The Self Care Routines That Keep Me Grounded
Moving taught me that routines don’t have to be rigid, they just need to fit the life you’re actually living.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned one thing: if I want to stay sane, I need routines. My life is centered around routines that help me flow. That doesn’t mean I have a strict A, B, C schedule that I have to follow every single day. When I was younger, I thought routines were these schedules you had to work really hard to create and stick to. Now, I see them completely differently.
I’ve created an ecosystem for my personal life, and that ecosystem has naturally transitioned into every area of my life.
When I first moved, I was really sad. Not only because I was leaving a place that I loved, but because I thought the routines I had worked so hard to create were going to fall off. Little did I know, losing some of those routines was actually an opportunity to create new ones that flowed with my natural rhythm.
Finding My Fitness Rhythm Again
Fitness is a huge part of my life. I had the best trainer in Atlanta, and the community I built there was one that genuinely motivated me to show up. When I moved, I knew I would lose that, but I still wanted to find ways to keep fitness consistent.
My trainer, Pretty Fit J, has an online program with virtual training. You can either do the 6:00 am or 6:45 pm, live Zoom classes. Neither time really works for me, but the virtual training also comes with an app and a schedule tailored specifically to you.
There are daily workouts with videos attached to each exercise, and there are chats with different women encouraging each other, sharing their progress, and posting their successes. It has a similar feeling to being in a gym community, just online.
Since moving, I’ve actually loved going to the gym in my building, putting my headphones in, and zoning out while doing the workouts she has programmed for me.
It’s different from what I had in Atlanta, but it still works. And I think that’s been one of the biggest lessons for me throughout this move: different doesn’t automatically mean worse.
Running is another part of my routine that I’ve become really consistent with. I used to love walking to Piedmont Park to run three miles, and now I’ve started running along the Detroit Riverwalk.
I can’t lie, I may actually like it more.
Running along the water is so peaceful, and the people on the trail are always high energy and giving high fives. There are still so many other trails I want to try, but I’ve really loved making the Riverwalk part of my routine.
Random fitness classes are also my favorite thing to sprinkle into my week. Pilates, heated Pilates, kickboxing, HIIT, trampoline classes, I love throwing one or two different fitness options into the mix. I’ve loved trying new classes here, and I’ll continue to try them.
I’ve also found a Pilates class every Saturday that I’ve been really consistent with, and honestly, it kicks off my Saturday the right way. Plus it’s walking distance.
Keeping the Little Things That Make Me Feel Like Me
Besides fitness, my life is built around routines.
The key I’ve learned with this move is not trying to reinvent the wheel. If something was working, I wanted to keep it. There are certain things I naturally do that make me feel like me, and those things became even more important during this transition.
Weekly Tuesday movie nights by myself have been part of my routine for the last eight years. That has stayed the same. Some Tuesdays, my mom joins me, and honestly, that makes it even better because movies have always been our thing. When I was a kid, my mom and I would go to the movies together, so there’s something nostalgic about continuing that tradition now.
Another routine I brought back was weekly flowers. Buying fresh flowers was something I started doing back in 2020 that I eventually had to stop when my finances changed. Getting back to having fresh flowers around my house is something I genuinely love for my mental health.
I used to only get them from Trader Joe’s, but now I love going to Eastern Market, getting bouquets, or even exploring local Detroit flower shops for my weekly flowers. I’ve even expanded from just pink roses to an array of different flowers in the arrangements throughout my house. It’s such a small thing, but it makes my home feel like me.
My Sunday Reset Stayed the Same
Sundays have always been my reset days. Cleaning the house, meal prepping, going to church, and going to Starbucks to plan for the week ahead has been my Sunday routine for years.
I’m glad to say that routine has stayed intact. There was something comforting about knowing that even though so much around me had changed, I could still have my Sunday reset.
And maybe that’s what I needed most after moving, not to completely rebuild myself, but to find the pieces of myself that were still there.
My New Favorite Day: Saturday
Saturdays have become my new favorite day, and not for what you may think. I wake up Saturday morning, go to Pilates, write my newsletter, which is probably my favorite thing to do, grab coffee, and use the rest of the day as my exploratory day.
I can run errands, but not in a structured way. I love exploring Eastern Market or downtown Detroit, walking around and looking at the flowers or scenery, grabbing lunch, and just sitting outside.
It’s my slowest day.
It’s the day where I get to debrief the week and just be. I use the daytime to flow. I think I’ve needed that more than I realized.
Self Care Is Learning What Actually Works for You
I say all of this to say that I’ve learned that the key to a healthy and productive routine is making it flow with your natural rhythm.
If you don’t like working out in the afternoon, don’t force yourself to do it. Find a time that actually works for you. Maybe that’s the morning. Maybe it’s at night.
The times I’ve struggled the most to stick to a routine are when I was trying to stretch myself too far outside of my natural flow.
And if there are things you need in your routine for your mental well being, don’t be afraid to make time for them.
This is my selfish exploratory era. I’m only doing things I want to do, and I’m not caring about it.
And no, that doesn’t mean I’m not showing up for my loved ones because I absolutely am. It just means I’m no longer doing things simply because they look good, because everyone else is doing them, or because I see the girlies on Instagram doing them.
For too long, I was trying to do what seemed popular instead of figuring out what actually worked for me.
Now, I’m doing things for me.
Routines shape how you show up, but having a routine doesn’t mean every minute of your day needs to be planned. I have plans for my day, but I allow room for things to flow. That doesn’t mean I’m not intentional. I am.
I’ve just learned that being intentional doesn’t mean being rigid.
Does Your Routine Actually Fit Your Life?
Take a look at your routines.
Your nighttime routine. Your morning routine. Your pre work routine. Your post work routine. Your weekend routine. You might be saying, “I don’t have one.” But you actually do. Look at the things you do naturally that have evolved to habits.
Do these routines actually fit your natural flow, or are they stretching you too far?
I learned that when routines don’t fit your flow, you either burn out quicker or find yourself going through the motions without actually getting the results you want.
I’ll give you an example.
I used to really want to wake up at 5:00 am. Not because I had a specific reason to, but because I saw the girlies on Instagram doing it.
At the time, I didn’t have a job, so I would either get mad at myself for oversleeping or wake up at 5:00 am, and realize I wasn’t actually doing anything because I had the entire day to get things done. Waking up at 5:00 am during that season of my life just didn’t fit.
I’m in a season where I don’t have kids or a spouse, so my entire morning is mine. At that point, I also didn’t have a job, so I had all day to get things done. I still wanted to wake up early, but I eventually realized that 6 or 7 am fit my flow better.
That’s what I mean when I say: Does it fit your flow? Does it fit your goals?
If the things in your routine aren’t helping you get closer to the life you actually want, change the routine.
You Have Three Months Left
It’s September 2nd. You have three months left in the year to adjust your life to better fit who you are and where you’re going.
Don’t do things simply because the internet says you should.
Don’t wake up at 5:00 am because everyone on Instagram is doing it.
Don’t force yourself into a routine that looks good on paper but leaves you exhausted in real life.
Do what works for you, and be okay with that.
Self care isn’t always the bubble baths, face masks, candles, or spa days we see online. Sometimes self care is protecting the routines that make you feel like yourself. Sometimes it’s giving yourself permission to change them. Sometimes it’s saying no. Sometimes it’s creating more space to explore. And sometimes it’s realizing that you don’t need to become a completely different person, you just need to stop abandoning yourself trying to keep up with everyone else.
Moving forced me to rebuild parts of my life, but it also reminded me that I don’t have to lose myself every time my environment changes. I can evolve and still keep the things that make me me.
So as we head into the final three months of the year, ask yourself:
Is the life I’m living actually working for me?
And if it isn’t, change it.
Not because the internet says you should.
Not because everyone else is doing it.
But because you deserve a life that feels good to live.
The ultimate form of self care is doing what works for you, and being unapologetic about it.
It’s your life.
Living it according to what society says the standard should be will only leave you burnt out.
So find your rhythm. And then give yourself permission to dance to it.
