Guarding My Eyes in a Season of Becoming
Finding Clarity, Discipline, and Peace in the Quiet
Have you ever just felt a tug on your heart to reset?
That was me late at night on January 13th. If I’m being honest, I felt like God was pulling for my attention. I went into prayer to go deeper. After that, I was having a conversation with my friend and she said, “I feel like God is telling you to fast, but I don’t know… pray about it.” I prayed, and it felt right. So the next day, I started my two day nothing but water fast.
I watched sermons, read my Bible, and got off social media. Then on Wednesday the 15th, the big Verizon shut down happened. I knew instantly that was a way for me to really lock in with God.
I have a tendency to talk to my friends or loved ones to try to get clarity and direction before talking to God. Subconsciously, I look to outside things for validation and direction, and that includes social media. I already had intentions of getting off social media for two days, but I didn’t plan on not talking to people for the day too.
I had a therapy session that same day, and one book she recommended I read was Hinds Feet on High Places. It’s definitely an aging book, but I think everyone should read it. I told her I couldn’t remember the specific promise God had for my life. I also told her I was fasting, and that was one of the answers I wanted to learn in those two days.
She responded by telling me I have a tendency to want things quickly and I sat with that.
I really do try to do the least amount of work and want the maximum return. I expect or want things to come quickly to me, without any struggle, and I call it faith. But that’s not faith, that’s entitlement. The reality is, God doesn’t owe me anything. We are called to live righteously because of our love and fear of God, not with anticipation for earthly stuff.
I can’t remember the last time I fully committed wholeheartedly to anything.
She also said something else that stood out: I have a wandering spirit, and when things get “tough” or something shifts, I’m looking for my exit.
She was spot on.
There have been so many times where I have a plan or want something, but then I see someone else doing something and suddenly I want that. In my life, I’ve struggled with staying focused on what I have going on because something else always looks more fruitful. I believe that’s been one of my struggles for a long time, and it’s part of the reason for my people pleasing and “pick me” energy in the past.
After our conversation, I sat with that and took it to God in prayer.
The fast, for me, was about recentering God as the head of my life. I was confused and all over the place. I had to stop, pause, and surrender my will, worries, fears, and whatever else at His feet.
I’m still in a transitional season since losing my job and starting these random gigs. Some days I get weary, and I have my breakdown moments. And those moments are when my eyes distract me even more.
When the fast ended, I was amazed at how much my peace was restored. I still had questions, and I didn’t gain a new job, but I had a deeper revelation of God, and even myself. I felt my help come from the inside. It was like the Holy Spirit had filled me with His strength and endurance.
I still felt the tug to not log back on to social media. I was scared to take my eyes off God spiritually, so I didn’t get back on. As the days went by, I noticed how much more productive I was and how focused I became on me.
I was able to sit and daydream about the life I wanted and the woman I wanted to be.
I was able to journal and dream about what I wanted my life to look like.
I was able to hear my own voice and write down some of my fears and things I didn’t like about myself.
I was able to read a whole book.
I was able to map out and goal set my 2026.
I was able to start Instacart to make some more money.
I realized how much time I had gotten back.
I thought I needed social media to network and get ideas for becoming a full time blogger, but I didn’t. My creativity comes from within. God’s given me so many ideas that get pushed to the background because of doom scrolling.
I was so focused on watching everybody else and minding everybody else’s business (because I’m a little noisy) and neglecting my own. I got reconnected with my own voice and vision. I read not one, but two books in three weeks. I created a plan and focus for the rest of the quarter.
I was actually consistent with reading my Bible and even started writing down my prayers. I continued starting my mornings with God and ending my nights in His Word. Because I wasn’t scrolling, throughout the day I would find myself praising and worshipping more, during the times I normally would’ve been on my phone.
My spirit was getting strengthened.
I’ll be honest: there were times I wanted to scroll and see what was going on. I even had my friends send me their Insta stories because I wanted to see their traveling adventures. But being off social media was more freeing than I expected.
The truth is, we have to be careful about what we watch with our eyes.
Growing up, my grandma or mother wouldn’t let me watch things with witchcraft or what she deemed to be too much. As adults, nobody is guarding our eyes. We’re exposed to so much, and it takes our focus. Before you know it, your five minute scroll turns into hours, and your day is gone.
Not to mention all the subconscious comparing that happens when we scroll too much. I can’t be the only one who changes their wants because of social media. Even something as simple as cooking dinner; I’ll start scrolling, and now I want what I see instead. And it happens with so much more than food.
Social media gives us more access than we’ve ever had, and we need to be mindful of our eyes.
I’m not saying social media is bad. I’m simply saying too much of anything is bad.
I told myself I would get back on socials February 1st, but not the same. I will use it as a tool and be mindful. I will be more intentional, because I know myself, and the goals and plans I have need my full attention. Yes, I will scroll, but it will be in short 10 minute intervals a day.
I did miss sharing and connecting, but now it will be limited. I won’t overconsume or deep dive into other people’s lives.
The Bible says the eyes are the lamp, so be careful to guard what you expose your eyes to.
Matthew 6:22:
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!”
Psalm 119:37:
“Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.”
I don’t know about you, but this is the season for me to be connected to the only source.
We can’t get distracted now.
This time taught me that sometimes God doesn’t give you answers right away, sometimes He gives you clarity, discipline, and peace first. Sometimes He pulls you away from the noise so you can finally hear Him. And sometimes the reset isn’t about changing your circumstances, but changing your focus.
I’m learning that guarding my eyes is really about guarding my heart, my time, and my future. I’m choosing to move slower, be more intentional, and stay planted where God has me instead of chasing what looks shiny or easy.
This is my season of becoming. And I’m committed to keeping my eyes on Him.
