How I’m Entering My Last Year in My 20s: Accountability, Growth & Choosing Me
Lessons, Reflections, & The Mindset I’m Carrying Into My Final Year In My 20s
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There’s something about birthdays that always makes me feel new. My birthday is truly my favorite time of year because I pour so much into my loved ones throughout the year, so seeing people show up and love on me feels so refreshing.
I’m grateful because my village always shows up for me, and I have some truly amazing people in my life. A few years ago, I made the decision to become a better villager, but that’s a story for another day.
Over the last two weeks, I’ve had so many people pour into me, and it’s been amazing. Between the gifts, messages, dinners, and everything in between, I can’t even fully express the gratitude I have for the people in my life.
Not only that, birthdays are also the perfect time to evaluate yourself. I use my birthday to look inward and reflect on the previous year, the good and the bad. This is my last year in my twenties, and I’m not dreading turning 30 next year, I’m actually excited.
I was talking to my therapist about how I wanted to “go out with a bang,” and when she asked me to elaborate, I couldn’t. That made me sit with myself and ask some tough questions. I had to assess where I really am and take accountability.
I read The 12 Week Year a few months ago, and there was a chapter about accountability that stuck with me. It defined accountability as ownership, not consequences, punishment, or blame. It described it as a life stance, a willingness to own your actions and results regardless of the circumstances.
That shifted something in me. Because if I’m being honest, I wasn’t fully happy with how my last year looked.
Don’t get me wrong, my 28th year had some beautiful moments, and I’m so proud of myself. But it was also extremely tough. It challenged my mental, my finances, my faith, and so much more. And naturally, it’s easy to look at hard seasons and blame everything around you.
But the truth is, while some things are out of our control, focusing only on what happened to you will keep you stuck. Yes, acknowledge it. Yes, process it. But at the end of the day, the only thing you can change is you.
Whatever hand God gave you, you have to play it.
When I looked at how I was showing up, there were parts of me I didn’t like. And instead of blaming my circumstances, I had to take accountability and create a plan to change it. We are always evolving, always becoming, but you can’t grow if you’re not honest about where you are. You have to see the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
It all starts with accountability. And once you take that accountability, you have to make the changes.
Because the truth is, until you get fed up, you won’t change. You have to be honest, brutally honest. But also give yourself grace through it.
I started my birthday with a dinner surrounded by some of the closest people to me, and I ended it on a beach reflecting.
My mother and I traveled to the Dominican Republic for my moms friend who’s like an aunt to me wedding, and it was such a beautiful setting to take inventory and reset for what’s next.
Even with all the fun and celebrations, I made sure to steal quiet moments with myself, to really sit, reflect, and look within. It wasn’t always comfortable, but it was necessary.
Right now, I’m focused on being intentional about how I show up moving forward.
That looks like breaking patterns that have held me back.
That looks like changing my relationship with time and slowing down to regulate my nervous system.
That looks like being honest about what I want, and not caring what anyone else thinks.
That looks like choosing myself instead of trying to be who others expect me to be.
That looks like not going where I don’t feel loved or appreciated.
That looks like doing the hard things I need to do instead of the easy things I’d rather do.
It looks like stepping outside the box. Logging off more. Picking up a book. It looks like not just portraying an image online, but actually living it.
It looks like being in my Word and prioritizing intentional time with God instead of squeezing Him into my schedule. It looks like trusting Him fully, not just in what I say, but in how I live.
This next season will be different, not because my circumstances have changed, but because I’m changing.
I’m showing up differently.
I’m choosing the uncomfortable.
I’m breaking out of the box.
And if you need to hear this too, stop being a victim to your circumstances. I’m not just talking to myself, I’m talking to you too.
Take time to assess how you’ve been showing up. And if there are things you don’t like, remember, you’re not a tree. You can move.
Don’t wait until next year, next week, or next quarter to change. It’s the daily decisions, the small, consistent actions, that determine where you go.
I once heard Tobi Naomi say: “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but every day they built.” And that’s exactly how we have to approach our lives, not just outwardly, but inwardly too.
Yes, work toward your goals and dreams, but don’t neglect the internal work required to sustain them. Because the truth is, some things God won’t give you until you’re ready.
So ask yourself honestly: Are you the person who can carry the blessings you’re praying for?
