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Only You Are Responsible For You
dymond phillips • Oct 23, 2021
The latest craze is the new Netflix series, Squid Games. It’s their most watched show ever. It’s a “Korean thriller that adds a deadly twist to some childhood classic games all in the pursuit of a top $38 million cash prize.” It’s kind of like Hunger Games, but everyone volunteers. After seeing all the rave about it on social media, I decided to give it a try. The series had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. It had many hidden messages behind it, but one that stuck out to me was how the volunteers blamed the game leaders for their own greed. The person who won the gangs, felt guilt, and rather than placing blame on themselves, pushed it on the people who ran the game. I don’t want to give any spoilers, but everybody had free will to play the games, they even signed a contract. No one was forced to stay, they even went home and many decided to come back.
That got me thinking, so many times in life we blame others for our own action, to escape the guilt and consequences. It’s easier to blame others, than to stop and take our own responsibility. By blaming others, we get to continue the behaviors that lead us is it to the problems we are blaming others for. For example, How many times have you shown up late somewhere and blamed traffic? Traffic is such an easy thing to blame when you rush into work ten minutes late. But is it really traffic’s fault that you’re late? Although traffic did play a role, the source of the lateness is you. Placing blame on other people or circumstances for your own misfortunes is a defense mechanism. When you place blame on someone else, you may be trying to justify your actions to yourself to reduce your mind’s natural inhibitions to acting in a way that is socially unacceptable. On top of that, the defense mechanism of blaming others is used to avoid facing situations that may be too challenging to handle.
Research shows that, “People who tend to look outside of themselves to place blame on others for their own mistakes tend to lose social status among their peers, have lower performance levels, and don’t learn as much when they run into obstacles in life.” I see it as a victim mentality. People often feel an unrealistic demand for perfection, leading them to blame others for their mistakes. When you play the blame game, you’re losing out on the opportunity for personal development. Taking personal responsibility as the first step in growth. How can you change your mistakes if you don’t first acknowledge them as mistakes? You have to take responsibility for your own actions. In life things are going to happen. Sometimes, those things are out of your control. The only thing that you can control is your response to the actions. When things go wrong, it’s natural to blame others, but you have to stop yourself. Try to look within and take ownership for your own actions.
