Self Care Reset: The Road To Loving Myself Again
Practical Ways I'm Falling Back In Love With Myself
Seasons aren’t only about weather. A few weeks ago, I shared how this summer turned out very differently than I expected, partially because of the season I’m in with life. I’ve been dealing with grief, growth, and discomfort. Outwardly, things have been amazing, but inwardly, it’s been chaotic. Not to sound cliché, but have you ever had everything you thought you wanted, and still felt like something was missing? That’s been me for the past couple of months, the passion I had with life has been absent.
Part of it could be that I haven’t been writing as much as I used to. Blogging fills me in so many ways, but it’s also because of other life factors. Someone asked me, “When was the last time you were truly happy?” and I was tongue-tied. On the surface, you’d think I’m happy, but when I really think about what happiness looks like for me, I get tripped up.
Please don’t worry, I’m not in a depressed spiral. I have happy moments, and I still have fun. But my day-to-day had become something I didn’t even know how to define. A couple of weeks ago, I attended the Women Evolve conference by Sarah Jakes Roberts, and felt a tug of “enough is enough.” Have you ever had to pick yourself up from a place you never thought you’d be in? That’s what this felt like. No one else can pull me out, I had to be the one to do it.
You’ve probably heard the saying, “No one is coming to save you.” It’s true. I realized I’ve allowed myself to be in this mental fog for too long. I’m on a mission to get back to myself. And if I can’t get back to who I was, I’m on a mission to become who I need to be. But rather than waiting, I’m learning to enjoy the journey.
I don’t know how my confidence slipped into the background and how everyday life took over. But instead of staying there, I’m choosing to pour back into myself. This journey isn’t always going to be pretty or perfect, but it’s one I’m prioritizing intentionally. Do I have everything I want? Is life perfect? Absolutely not. But I refuse to wait to live my life until I get there.
I made up my mind to give this season everything I have. I sat down and journaled about what I didn’t like about my current season of life and envisioned what my dream life would look like. Then I reflected on the things that truly bring me happiness, not just social outings with friends and family, but the things I do for myself, by myself.
One thing I used to do every week was go to the movies alone on Tuesday for $5 days. For some reason, maybe work or laziness, I stopped. Streaming movies online became my new habit. But going back to solo movie dates was nostalgic and brought me real joy. Even on a tight budget, I can always find $20 for a solo movie day.
Another ritual I had stopped was getting weekly flowers. When I was living back home, I'd watch my mom buy flowers for herself, filling the house with them. When I moved into my own space, I intended to continue the tradition, but I got out of the habit. Weeks would go by with dead flowers sitting around. I told myself I was saving money, but flowers truly bring me joy. Plus it’s not like I wouldn't spend the money other ways; whether that’s on random shopping spree, Starbucks outings, or just eating out every day. I decided to start again, finding deals at Publix to stretch my budget while still keeping fresh roses in my home.
I’ve also been re-prioritizing simple joys like taking baths in my apartment for the first time, walking my neighborhood, and reclaiming routines that once made me feel grounded. I jumped back into my fitness routine and even started different workout classes. For me, this season is about throwing things at the wall and seeing what things bring me happiness.
No matter what season you’re in, you have to maximize it. Life comes with highs and lows, and one thing I’m learning is to focus on what I can control. Another thing helping me in this season is trusting that everything works together for my good. God doesn’t waste any season, and I know there’s a reason I’m here right now. Rather than resist this season, I’m choosing to embrace it and do everything I can to be the best version of myself. You can’t control life’s circumstances, but you can control your happiness and joy.
