Seven Red Flags When Dating In 2021

Last month, a new social media trend came in and took over. If you’re on social media, you’ve been seeing more of the red flag emoji’s lately. Black Twitter started it when they began to share funny dating warning signs following the use of five or more red flag emojis. Of course the trend blew up and had many twitter users sharing dating warnings. Since then, its evolved into something much bigger. It was simple: quote or short description + red flag emojis. The topics ranged from dating, to bad service providers, and even controversial topics. The trend got so big, even some celebrities and brands and joined in. Of course it evolved more and someone started to share green flags too. Red flags are simply warning signs you should look out for. Unfortunately, I was too busy reading all the flags to join in. It got me thinking though, when dating there are many things we ignore in the beginning. These small red flags in the beginning, tend to become bigger  throughout the relationship. Today, I’m going to share seven red flags to watch out for when dating.

If you notice that many of the following red flags are true for you and your partner, it may be time to reevaluate. These are red flags for me and my preference. Everybody is looking for something different. Our red flags might not be the same. These are not in any particular order.

1. Communication.

Look at how he/she communicates with you. How is their verbal and non verbal communication. I understand everybody is busy, but it's not hard to send a quick text or make a call. Also, how he/she communicates about their exes. Pay attention to how the person you’re dating communicates when they’re upset, or even when they don’t get their way. Communication is key. How does he/she communicate their feelings or frustrations?

2. Relationships.

Look at how his/her relationship is with their friends. On top of that, how is their relationship with their family members. You can tell a lot about a person on how they deal with their loved ones. I do understand that some cases are different where families are toxic. Make sure you observe how he/she deals and acts with people closest to them.

3. Hustle.

This is big. I would hope that the person you’re dating has a job, but aside from the regular 9-to-5, what is their long-term goals? Working a job every day is cool, but in life jobs are not always guaranteed. You want to make sure the person you’re dating won’t fold if things get tough. If they lost their job today, will they know how to get back on their feet. Are they putting all their eggs into one basket? How is their work ethic? This is something to look out for.

4. Faith.

This is so important. Does the person you’re dating believe in God? Even if you two don’t share the same religion, it’s important that they understand that it is a higher power. Believing in God holds you accountable. Beware of the atheist out there. Faith is important because it's what I run to when things are tough. Also, you want to date a grateful person, not an entitled one.

5. Integrity.

How does this person act when no one is watching. Pay attention to stories that your partner tells you about previous situations. Integrity is a big thing and do you want to make sure that your morals are aligned. This also includes honesty, loyalty and truthfulness.

6. Finances.

Nobody wants to talk about this, but money in relationships is very important. How does he or she handle their money? Who is picking up more of the checks? Stay away from stingy, broke and cheap people, they're hard to date. Dating someone who is in your bracket is very important, especially when you're thinking long-term.

7. Respect.

Aretha was right, we all need R-E-S-P-E-C-T. We all want to be treated like somebody, especially when dating. It's crucial to feel heard, seen and appreciated. When you're respected by your partner, you feel safe, which builds trust. Beware of people who belittle and disregard you and your feelings. Above that, you want to date someone who respects themselves. If they don't respect themselves, it's no way they can respect you.

Many times we ignore red flags because we try to ignore our intuition. I don’t know about you, but I try to look for the good in everyone, especially when dating. Rather than face the facts, it's easy to deny the red flags and carry on. Denying red flags prevents the pain of conflict. These seven red flags are important because they're the warning signs before heartbreak. According to Dr. Wendy Walsh, "In relationships, red flags are signs that the person probably can't have a healthy relationship and proceeding down the road together would be emotionally dangerous.” With all this being said, I know it can be hard to step outside your situation and view the red flags, but it's so crucial. Take some time to identify what your non-negotiables are, that way you have clear understanding of which red flags to look out for. If you're still struggling, ask someone you trust to look at your situation. Identifying red flags and acting on them will save you time and emotions. You have to put yourself first!