You’re Not Moving Backwards (Even If God Sends You Back)

I was applying for jobs nonstop and was given until December to make something happen.

I prayed for a miracle.

And when December came… nothing changed.

I remember sitting in my room crying before the move, feeling like I had failed.

But here’s the thing about life, sometimes what feels like a setback ends up being a blessing you couldn’t see yet.

Three months after I moved back home, the pandemic happened and the entire world shut down.

Looking back now, I realize how protected I was.

I honestly don’t know what I would have done being locked down in Atlanta without my mom. Being home during that time was something I didn’t realize I needed until it happened.

And those four years living at home ended up becoming one of the most meaningful seasons of my life.

Even though technically I was supposed to be saving money, I was also living life fully.

During that time I traveled more than I ever had before. I visited seven countries and over twelve cities, some of them multiple times. I bought my first big girl car. I purchased my first designer pieces. I started taking content more seriously by shooting more photos and videos. I experimented with different wigs and hairstyles and really started exploring my creativity.

But the most important thing that came out of that season wasn’t travel or material things.

It was family.

Before moving home, I loved my family, but I wasn’t nearly as close with them as I am now.

Living there changed that.

Now I’m so family oriented. I call my parents throughout the week just to talk about nothing. I was able to spend time with my aunt and cousins and actually be present for family events I used to miss when I lived away.

Moving back home was something I thought I never wanted.

But in reality… it was exactly what my spirit needed.

Being under my parents roof gave me discipline and structure that I didn’t have before. It helped develop me into the woman I needed to become.

At 22, I thought I was ready to live on my own.

But truthfully… I wasn’t.

And I have to credit my grandfather for pointing that out. At the time I was angry when he said it, but now I’m so grateful that he did.

Because when I moved back out at 27, I was actually ready.

It was God’s timing, not mine.

And looking back now, I’m so glad I didn’t rush the process.

Honestly, if life ever required me to go back home again, I wouldn’t see it as defeat.

I’d see it as a blessing.

Because how lucky am I to even have somewhere to go back to?

That perspective changes everything.

I share that story because somewhere along the way, society convinced us that going back means failure.

But it isn’t.

Going back might look like moving back in with family, returning to a job you once had, or even relocating to your hometown after chasing a big dream.

And society can be quick to judge those moves.

But what if going back isn’t regression? What if it’s redirection?

Recently I had to go back to serving and bartending a couple nights a week. At first, I saw it as a failure. I was upset that I had to go back to something I felt like I had outgrown. I was also fearful because I didn’t want to get stuck there, and a lot of people do in the hospitality industry.

But eventually I had to lean in and trust God through it.

Funny enough, the girls I work with don’t know much about me, but they call me the “church girl.”

And honestly, that made me laugh.

Because it reminded me of something powerful, when you follow Christ, there’s a light on you whether you’re trying or not.

Even when you’re just being yourself.

It reminds me of the story of Peter after Jesus was captured. People in the town told Peter, “You look and sound like Jesus.” He tried to deny it, but they could still see it on him.

Sometimes your light is visible even when you’re not trying to show it.

And it made me think… maybe God has me back in this environment for a reason.

Maybe it’s not just about the money.

Maybe it’s about influence.

Maybe I’m supposed to bring light into places that feel dark.

I don’t know exactly what the purpose is yet. But I’m learning to trust that God always has one.

Now let me be clear about something.

I am not talking about spinning the block on a man. That’s a completely different conversation. 

I’m talking about life situations where you find yourself returning to something you thought you had already moved past.

Because throughout the Bible, God actually sends people back many times.

Jacob returned home.

David returned after exile.

Jeremiah went back to his people.

Even the man from Gerasene was told by Jesus to return home and share what God had done for him.

Going back wasn’t punishment.

It was purpose.

And we see examples of this outside of the Bible too.

Steve Jobs was fired from Apple, the company he co founded. But years later he returned and transformed it into one of the most valuable companies in the world.

Sarah Jakes Roberts once left Dallas carrying the shame of being a young divorced teen mom, but years later she returned transformed and now leads thousands as a pastor at The Potter’s House, with her husband.

Sometimes you leave a place one version of yourself, and return completely transformed.

So if life is pulling you back somewhere you thought you were done with, maybe stop resisting it.

Because sometimes God sends us back to grow us, restore us, or position us for what’s next.

What looks like a setback might actually be a setup.

Just like in chess, what may look like a bad move might actually be the exact move needed to win the game.

So if you find yourself going back to something, a place, a job, or a season you thought you had already outgrown, don’t assume you’re moving backwards.

You might just be exactly where God needs you to be. And this time, you’re not the same person who left. You’re the person God prepared to return.

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