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Blogmas Day Twenty-One: Feeling Some Holiday Blues
dymond phillips • Dec 22, 2020
It's the most wonderful time of year year, so why do I feel sad?
Today was a day for me. I was scrolling through some old pictures and realized I had been living here for almost a year. I can't believe it's already been a year. As most of you know, at first I hated the idea of moving back home. I felt like a failure and that all my hard work was for nothing. As time went on, I learned that being home was the perfect place for me to be. I don’t know why realizing that I had been here a year would trigger so many emotions in me. When I first moved home, I told myself it would only be for a year. I kept telling myself not to get stuck, because so many people do. Now looking back at all the time I had wasted this year, I felt like I wasn’t sticking to the plan. I was laying in my bed feeling empty, but then I decided to get up. I couldn't let myself stay there. The only way I was going to get myself to feeling better was to do some well overdue, self-care. Here in Michigan, we are back shut down so our movie theaters and restaurants are closed. Before the pandemic, going to the movies every week, was my way to reset myself. I decided to get up, get dressed and take myself on a date. I took a drive to Toledo, which is an hour away from me.
I love solo road trips, because they clear my mind. Being on the road, listening to my music and being in my own thoughts is so rejuvenating. When I got to Toledo, I was able to go to the movies. I went to see "The War With Grandpa." If you didn't know, I love all movies. This was actually funny to me. I love After the movies, I was able to take take myself to dinner. I love Chili's, I was so excited to go and have a margarita and some cheese fries. I made sure to take the precautions necessary to ensure I was staying safe.
I feel so refreshed and back to my self. This has been a crazy year for everyone. Plans have been altered, but through it all I’m still alive. I have to learn to cut myself a break, and extend some grace. In this year of being home, I did a lot. I had to look at the cup half full, rather than half empty. Being home and around family this year, was truly a blessing. I know that sometimes I will get sad and have bad days, but the key is to force myself out of that space. If you find yourself down or sad during this holiday season, do something to make yourself happy. Whatever that self care is for you, make it a priority!
