Finding Joy in the Everyday: Learning to Choose Joy in Every Season of Life
Learning To Choose Joy in Quiet Seasons & Moments That Once Felt Ordinary
I used to think joy and happiness were the same thing. But as I’ve grown, I’ve realized they aren’t synonymous at all.
I’ve always been a positive and optimistic person, but even that isn’t the same as joy. When I look back over my life, there were many moments when I thought I had joy, but what I actually had was happiness.
Recently I watched an interview with Tracee Ellis Ross where she talked about the difference between the two. She said, “Happiness can feel like something you grab from a convenience store, but joy is deeper. Joy is something you work at. It takes practice. Joy has roots and legs. Joy creates space. It allows room for more than just a good day. Joy is an attitude, a perspective, a lens through which you live your life.”
That really stuck with me. Because joy actually takes a little bit of audacity.
I remember reading about joy in the Bible as a kid and thinking it simply meant happiness. But in this season of life, I’ve developed a much deeper appreciation for it. Lately I’ve found myself experiencing real joy in the middle of chaos. And the truth is, the “joy” I thought I had before was actually just happiness, and happiness is fickle. It depends on circumstances. Joy doesn’t.
I remember talking to my therapist in August of 2024 about how I felt like something was missing. I told her that I didn’t feel fully happy. She asked me a question that shifted everything: “Are you seeking happiness or joy?” And honestly, I didn’t know.
I told her I felt happy when I traveled, spent time with friends, went shopping, or took myself on solo dates to try new restaurants. But when life got quiet, when nothing exciting was happening, that happiness disappeared.
She reminded me of something simple but powerful: happiness is dependent on happenings. It’s fleeting.
At the time we had that conversation, my life looked completely different. I had just gotten fired but landed a new job within 30 days making more money than before. I was fresh out of a four-year relationship. I was hosting weekly events at my house and seeing friends at least twice a week.
Life was full.
Now my life looks quieter.
I spend more nights in than out. I’ve slowed down. I spend more time in the Word and more intentional time with God. And somewhere in this quieter season, I started discovering the joy I thought I had before.
My joy isn’t dependent on circumstances anymore.
It isn’t dependent on my own self reliance or financial stability. My joy is rooted in my faith, and my faith has been strengthened in ways I didn’t expect during this season.
Now I’m learning that joy is something you practice daily in the quiet moments and ordinary routines.
I find joy when I’m walking my dog and saying good morning to people I pass.
I find joy on my commute home after a late shift when I choose to take the streets instead of the highway because I get to drive through the exact area I once prayed and begged God to live in.
I find joy in my workouts with my trainer because moving my body and pushing myself is a blessing.
I find joy when I clean my home because it’s my dream place and I know I’m honoring God by being a good steward over what He’s given me.
I find joy in quiet car rides, looking around at the world God created.
I find joy when I sip my coffee in the morning and watch the sun shining through my window in awe.
I’ve learned how to find joy in the everyday.
And this didn’t happen overnight.
It was almost a full year after that conversation with my therapist before it finally started clicking for me.
Now there are moments when life feels hectic and people ask how I stay so calm. The truth is, it’s not that I’m always calm.
I’ve just learned how to have joy in the middle of anything.Choosing joy is an act of faith. So how can you find joy in your own life?
I don’t know what season you’re in right now or what may be going on in your world. But I do know that joy is possible in every season. Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11-13, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty… I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.”
I used to read that scripture without fully understanding it.But now I see it differently. This is the way to live.
Joy doesn’t come from trusting yourself, it comes from trusting the Creator. The One who knew your beginning and your end before you ever took your first breath. When you trust Him fully, you can rest in joy.
So I challenge you to pray and ask God for His joy, the kind that isn’t fickle or fleeting. Because when life feels uncertain and everything around me feels unstable, I lean into God. His strength really is made perfect in our weakness.
And maybe you’re not in a valley right now. Maybe you’re on a mountaintop. This is actually the perfect time to lean into God’s joy too. It’s easy to forget there were seasons when things weren’t this good. Easy to forget how far God has brought you and how faithfully He’s carried you.
But whether life feels good or hard, the truth stays the same: You can have joy in both.
Practical Ways to Cultivate Joy in Any Season
Spend time in the Word
You have to spend time in Scripture to truly understand the character of God. When you read the Bible, you see how faithful He has been throughout history. Seeing how God came through before is evidence that He can come through again, because He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Reading Scripture also gives you language when life gets hard. I love speaking God’s Word back to Him during prayer.
Get Comfortable With The Quiet
I used to use busyness as a scapegoat. When life slowed down, my happiness disappeared. But the truth is that growth often happens in the stillness. Whether it’s taking a quiet walk without music, journaling in silence, or sitting outside reflecting, learning to embrace stillness will change you. When you stop running from the quiet, you start growing in it.
Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company
I realized a lot of my struggles were rooted in emotional codependency. I didn’t think I had codependency issues because I enjoy being alone. But I also liked knowing someone was always a call or text away.
It was subtle emotional dependency. I had to learn how to truly be alone. Not lonely, but whole.
Start small. Solo walks. Solo dates. Solo moments. When you learn to enjoy your own company, you begin to fall in love with the person God created you to be. And that actually makes your relationships healthier too.
Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions
I used to be the queen of ignoring emotions that felt inconvenient. But the more you bottle up your feelings, the harder they become to process later.
I’m not saying sit in a “woe is me” mindset. But acknowledge what you feel. Bring it to God in prayer. Sit with it long enough to learn from it, and then move forward.
God gave us emotions for a reason. Even Jesus experienced them. You can’t grow from something you refuse to go through.
Joy doesn’t mean life will always feel easy. It means that even when life feels uncertain, chaotic, or uncomfortable, you still have something steady anchoring you.
For me, that anchor is God.
And the beautiful thing about joy is that once you learn how to see it, you realize it was never hiding in the big moments. It was always waiting in the ordinary ones.
Sometimes joy isn’t loud.
Sometimes it’s simply a quiet morning, sunlight through the window, a peaceful heart, and the deep knowing that God is still working in your life.
And that kind of joy?
That’s the kind no circumstance can take away.
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