I Don’t Even Like Running, So Why Do I Keep Doing It?
Sometimes The Hardest Part Of Starting Again Is Getting Out Of Your Own Head
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fell in love with running last year. Actually, let me rephrase that, I learned that I enjoy running. Not necessarily the actual act of running, but the feeling I get afterward.
Running is something I kind of stumbled into. If you didn’t read the story about how and why I started running, click here. Long story short, one of my friends was moving to Texas and I randomly decided we should do a 5K before she left. I signed us up without really thinking about it, started “training,” and since that first race, somehow I’ve now done around six other races in the last nine months.
Once the weather started changing back in October, though, I completely fell off.
Not even intentionally, I just didn’t know how to run in the cold. I didn’t have the layers, and honestly, I wasn’t in love with running enough to commit to it year round. The only running I was doing was the occasional treadmill sprint at the gym on Mondays. Other than that, I had quietly let it go and figured I’d pick it back up whenever I felt like it.
Fast forward a few months later, and people around me still assumed I was super into running because of how much I talked about it last year.
One of my guy friends mentioned wanting to get into running and asked me when my next race was. At the time, running was the furthest thing from my mind. I still worked out regularly, went on walks, and stayed active, but running specifically? I hadn’t thought about it in months.
But because he was interested, I started looking up races and found one happening the same weekend I’d be in Michigan in May.
We had about a month to train, and I confidently told myself, “I’ll just get back into running. It’s like riding a bike.” Except, life started life-ing, like it always does. Before I knew it, I was ten days away from race day and hadn’t gone on a run in six months. I kept putting it off because I didn’t know where to start, and somewhere in my mind I felt like I needed to get back into it perfectly.
One night, I finally told myself that the next morning I was just going to go. No overthinking. No planning. No excuses. I woke up, got dressed, and headed out the door before I could talk myself out of it. My only goal was to run three miles, no matter how long it took, just to get my body reacclimated. That run took me about 40 minutes, and to my surprise, I felt amazing afterward.
It reminded me of the exact reason I started running in the first place It wasn’t even about pace or distance. It was the feeling of accomplishment. The confidence boost that comes from doing exactly what you said you were going to do.
The next morning, I started creating a routine that worked with my gym schedule because I didn’t want to overdo it. But more importantly, I changed my mindset. Instead of thinking, “I’m getting ready for a race,” I started telling myself, “I’m a runner.” And the more I told myself that, the more my actions started aligning with it. Truthfully, you become whatever you continuously tell yourself you are.
With each run, my time slowly improved. Last weekend, I ran a 5K in Michigan and finished in 32 minutes. I got to run the race with my friend, who somehow had the fastest time without even preparing, and I convinced my sister to join too. She wouldn’t call herself a runner, but now she’s been running more and becoming more active.
Watching both of them cross that finish line reminded me of how I felt during my first race. There’s such a strange sense of joy and accomplishment that comes with finishing something hard. And honestly, it’s difficult to explain unless you’ve experienced it yourself.
Every race fills something in me that I didn’t even realize I needed. Now don’t get me wrong, I still complain the entire time I’m running. I still hate hills. I still question my life choices halfway through every run. But the second I finish, I feel proud of myself. That feeling alone keeps bringing me back.
Please hear me when I say this: I do not actually enjoy running that much. Yet somehow, even while I was in New York City on vacation, I still found myself going on a run because the scenery was beautiful and I wanted that feeling afterward. Running has become less about fitness and more about proving something to myself.
For so long, I kept saying, “I want to be a runner,” while simultaneously believing that version of me didn’t really exist. But now, with every run, I feel like I’m slowly stepping into the version of myself I always wanted to become. One run at a time.
But the truth is, this post was never really just about running. Running just happened to be the thing that reminded me how easy it is to talk yourself out of becoming the person you want to be. For months, I kept saying I’d get back into it “eventually.” I told myself I needed more time, better weather, more motivation, or the perfect schedule.
But the moment I stopped overthinking and simply started, everything changed.
And maybe that’s where you are too.
Maybe there’s something you used to love that slowly fell off when life started life-ing. Maybe there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, but you keep convincing yourself you’re too late, too inconsistent, or too far behind. But time is going to pass anyway. A month from now, a year from now, you can either still be thinking about it or you can be living in it.
That first run back reminded me that confidence doesn’t come before action, it comes after. It comes from keeping promises to yourself. From doing the uncomfortable thing. From realizing you were capable the entire time.
So maybe this is your sign to start again.
Not perfectly. Not all at once. Just one step at a time.
Because you never know what version of yourself is waiting on the other side of trying.
