Let The Past Be The Past

Stop romanticizing your past, and adapt to your present. A couple weeks ago, I wrote a post about not letting your future hijack your present, today I want to talk about not allowing your past to stop you from being present. As humans, we have a tendency to romanticize our past, sometimes to the point where we can’t show up in the current season. How far do you think you can go, if you continue to focus on what’s behind you? My pastor said, “You keep going back to your past failures because you can’t see your preferred future.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. Your past can mean an ex, an old habit, past behaviors, the possibilities are endless. Let that marinate for a minute! 

I had a conversation with someone a couple days ago, and I had an epiphany. We were talking about life pre-Covid and how much she wanted to get back to how things used to be. I told her that I really don’t think that we will go back to how we were before, and that it’s best if we just adapt to how the world is now. We ended the conversation, by agreeing to disagree, but that thought played in my head all night. Maybe I’m the only one, but I have a tendency to romanticize my past. Personally, I do it when it comes to working out, and even how I handle my business. Whenever I get a glimpse of my past, I always say how I need to get back to that. For example, if I find an old gym picture, I say I need to get back to that routine or weight. I’ve even made a comment saying how I need to get back hungry for my business, like how I was in the beginning. Truth is, that was then, and this is now. No matter how hard you try, you will never go back in time. Circumstances were different in the past, which is why your present is different. I’m not saying disregard the past completely, because you need it to gauge how to move forward. Think about your car; you have a rear view mirror, but you also have a front windshield. Which of the two is larger? Your front windshield! Why do you think that is? You need to focus on going forward. It’s ok to glimpse into your past occasionally, but if you stare too long, just like with your car, you’ll crash. Your past can teach you what things to do and not to do, but you have to focus on the present and future. 

Maybe you’re reading this, and you’re thinking to yourself, I’ve never done that. Even if you think you haven’t, I know you have, you’re human. Think about if you’ve ever encountered someone who is stuck in the past. When I think back to old colleagues from college, there’s some of them who are stuck in the past. What I mean is they always talk about how life was, but not from a memorizing place. It’s hard to have conversations with them, because we only talk about the past, nothing about the present. Even, working at the bar, I’ve had conversations with older people who are stuck in the past. I like to call them the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve folks. Can you think back to a time when you were talking to someone and they said things like: If this would’ve happened, I would’ve been further, I should’ve done things differently, or If only this could’ve happened. These are the lies that hold us stuck to the past. If you can recall someone like this, I’m not suggesting that you’re equally as stuck as them. What I’m saying is, you too have looked at your past, at least once, and said wow things were so much better back then. 

It is our human nature to look back, but don’t get stuck there. I’m not only talking to you, I’m talking to me too. Glancing back is fine, the problem comes when you stare too long. Remember what my pastor said, “You keep going back to your past failures because you can’t see your preferred future?.” the key to breaking up with your past, is to get clear or your preferred future. Get clear on what you want, and go after that. Once you see it, then you will envision it, which will make you go get it. Stop focusing on what used to be and worry about right now, the best is yet to come.