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Living My Worse Nightmare
Dymond Phillips • Jun 17, 2019
Wow, it's officially one month post my graduation situation. I went back and forth on the idea of sharing this post but I decided I owed it to you to explain. If you follow me on instagram, as you should (https://www.instagram.com/dymond_lashay/) you'd know that I was scheduled to graduate last month May 20th, 2019......BUT I DIDN'T. I actually found out I definitely wasn't, the weekend before. The most exciting weekend quickly made a turn in the blink of an eye. Let me rewind......
Thursday May 16th, my parents got to town and I was running around doing graduation activities. That Friday I went to my school to see what the issue was with picking up my cap and gown. The woman told me, your name isn't even on my list. I began crying on the promenade of Clark's campus. Ran around looking for the person in charge of registration. Before running into her, I ran into another person who told me that I wasn't graduating because my classes never transferred over. I remember calling my parents, within 20 minutes they were both at my school! Long story short I never handled my business in insuring that all my ducks were in a row and I assumed that everything would fall into place.
Initially I felt broken. After spending over three hours in the registra office with my parents, I broke down. I cried like a baby and I screamed, "God doesn't love me." My parents hugged me so tight. My mom said this isn't the time to cry, you have to throw yourself to the feet of the thrown. Throw yourself to God and admit it was me. She also told me that I was the only person who could get me out of this by prayer. I got into the car and cried and I cried for over 24 hours straight. The next day I meet up with my family at a restaurant and after hugging my mom I BROKE DOWN AGAIN. She quickly walked me outside with my grandma. They both spoke so much life into me, outside of that Ruby Tuesdays. My aunts came and also poured into me with love. During this whole time, I felt embarrassed and like a disappointment. People had purchased flights, booked hotel rooms and spent their TIME to come celebrate me, but yet I wasn't graduating. My grandfather hugged me and said, "It's ok, S*** happen. We all mess up."
I left the restaurant and as I was driving I kept telling myself, it's ok I'll get through this. I began to praise God and I began to feel better. My mom called me and said, "You know what I was thinking, we never had a Dymonds Diary launch party. Let's flip this." Honestly I don't know where I'd be without my mom she is my best friend. She sent out a mass text to all of my family who'd came and the calls began to come. I assumed everybody would be calling me, angry and upset that they'd wasted their time. But the calls I received were the complete opposite. I ended up making a Instagram post opening up my graduation/launch party up to the public.
That Sunday, I was surrounded by so much love it's insane. I walked into the party of my dreams. The decorations were so unique I could cry. It was perfect. Huge shoutout to my event planner, I Bee Events for bringing my moms vision to life (https://www.instagram.com/ibee_events/) Also shoutout to Pink Dahlia for my cake it was so good and moist. (https://www.instagram.com/pinkdahliacake/) Besides the decorations the turn out was amazing. The vibe and ora was genuine love. My family and friends all showed up and spoke positivity and life back into me. I couldn't believe how understanding everyone was. Walking into the party, I felt broken and empty but I left full and motivated. I laughed so much and it felt so good to have such a understand tribe around me
I'm telling my truth because failure is evident. It builds character.
(Sidebar: For everybody who assumes I knew I wasn't graduating, that isn't true. I knew it was a possibility but I thought God would just get me through. Isn't it funny how I assumed God would just make things in my life perfect. Prayer without preparation is death. Faith comes in, after we've done everything in our power then God will do the rest. I hadn't done the work but yet I wanted God to just handle it. )
Initially I thought God had forsaken me and I felt like he had let me down. My mom and dad QUICKLY broke things down to me. God had been giving me warnings literally for months, that I ignored. Warning always comes before destruction. This was the result of me not handling my business and looking back THIS HAD TO HAPPEN. Crazy thing is, before finding out I wasn't graduating, I wasn't excited for graduation. My anxiety was kicking in and I had a fear of graduating and not knowing what I was going to do. I'm kind of happy I have a little more time to figure out my next steps so that I can graduate with a plan. Also, I learned so much from this nightmare that I needed not only for school, but for business as well. I'm happy this happened to me in my 20s at the start of my business rather than 10 years later. I now know more than ever that family is my root. I appreciate and thank everybody who supported me during that time, I will never forget it. I can bet you one thing, I'll always stay on top of important things now. Thank you for everybody who came and hugged me during that time. I'm happy to announce I've enrolled in summer online classes and I'll have my degree before 2020. Everything happens for a reason. I wasn't ready to graduate and I'm okay saying that! It wasn't my time yet, now when the time comes I'll appreciate it even more.
