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Talks With Dymond
dymond phillips • Sep 24, 2018
Hey hey so this week I was sent a question in my dm and I knew I had to make a post about it. It's something everybody has to go through at least once in their life. I promised I wouldn't attach her name but here's what she said...
"Hey Dymond, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of one year. The relationship was very toxic and he ended up having a child with someone other than me. I understand that everyone heals differently but do you have any tips for how to move on. This was my first serious relationship. I can say I played a part and allowed more than I should've. Help your girl out!!"
Listen I've been there and I know it sounds extremely cliche but you will be alright. I know break ups are like a death and the pain is deeper than people admit. After a break up for me, I used to look at myself and think why me, what did I do wrong? You can not question yourself, you are beautiful and more than enough. You have to look at it as a lesson moving forward. I know you said you allowed more than you should, use that in your next relationship to nip things in the butt early.
One lesson my mom taught me young is that a man can only do what you allow him to. I'm not putting the blame on you but in your next relationship once he shows you who he is believe him. Let somebody get away with something once and they're going to do whatever they want to you. That's not just with men that's with friendships as well. Getting over a break up can be extremely tuff but here's some of my tips on how to move on and get over it.
1.Throw Yourself Into Work
I typically work harder when going through things. I throw myself into work whether that be picking up extra shifts, or doing shoots for the blog. I tend to work triple harder than I normally do. Working keeps me busy which keeps my mind off the break up. On top of that I like extra money to boss up on my ex.
2. Hang Out With Friends
Sometimes in relationships we tend to be so in love we don't spend as much time with family and friends. Take this time to go out with your girls. Do a spa day, go to the bar, anything that brings you closer to them. When I'm around my friends it's nothing but laughter and a good time, and after a break up you need that just to stay positive. Plus my friends are crazy and will force me to get over my ex.
3. Love Yourself
I know this goes without saying but take this time to fall back in love with yourself. No you should never stop loving yourself but in relationships we sometimes lose ourselves - it's normal. During this time it's crucial that you spend time alone. Go to the movies, to the park, to a museum, just go do some of your favorite things alone. This is the perfect way to reflect.
4. Read A Book
I dont know why but I see breakups as a rebirth and new beginnings. With that being said I tend to read more. Reading helps you expand your mind which also keeps your mind off the breakup. Find a good book, sit on the couch and just dive in. When I'm not reading books about business, I love reading stories about growth and women empowerment.
5. Change Your Look
For me, I like to use breakups as the perfect time to get a new hairstyle. I try a new hairstyle that's either out of the box or one of my all time favorites. I even get my makeup done and I put my cutest clothes on. When you look good on the outside you tend to feel better on the inside. Also I try to wear brighter colors, even though I usually want to wear black I have to break myself out of that.
6. Honor Your Emotions
During a breakup you tend to be very emotional. Rather than try to hide from the emotions you're feeling, just honor them. You have to allow yourself to feel sad because that way you're dealing with it. Allow yourself to cry, feel angry and just go thru all the emotions. When you face things head on, you can deal with them better.
With all this being said use your breakup as a time to get YOU right. I know it's a time where your emotions are all over the place but before you know it, this time will be over. That was my six tips on how to get over a breakup I hope that helped. If you have any questions or topics you'd like me to talk about dm me, email me, or hashtag #TalksWithDymond. Until next week........
