Zoom Out and Take a Look: How Changing Your Perspective Can Change Everything

Sometimes The Situation Doesn’t Need To Change, Your Perspective Does 

I hate to say it, but sometimes we are the problem.

Me included.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat in therapy and said, “Maybe it’s me.” It’s actually become a running joke between my therapist and me because, more often than not, there is some truth to it.

I like to think I’m pretty self aware. I try to hold myself accountable and take ownership of my actions. But the mind is a funny thing. The way we think, the stories we tell ourselves, and the perspective we choose to see things through are all shaped by our experiences, environment, upbringing, and beliefs.

The challenge is that our perspective is just that, ours.

Have you ever gotten offended by something someone said, only to realize later it was a complete misunderstanding? Or gotten into a disagreement and, once the emotions settled, realized neither person was necessarily wrong, you were just seeing the situation from two different angles?

I know for me, I sometimes assume everyone has had the same opportunities, experiences, or support systems that I’ve had. But that’s not true. It’s something I have to be mindful of when talking to people or giving advice because my perspective isn’t universal.

The older I get, the more I realize that two people can look at the exact same situation and walk away with completely different conclusions.

We see this in friendships. In families. In dating.

As someone who is currently single and navigating dating again, I find myself constantly checking in with my own thoughts and assumptions. I don’t want my past experiences to determine how I show up in the present. Just because something happened before doesn’t mean it will happen again.

A few weeks ago, I shared that I’m walking into a new season of life. On one hand, it’s a blessing. On the other hand, it’s not exactly what I would have chosen for myself.

For a while, I focused on everything I thought I was losing.

The changes.

The uncertainty.

The things that wouldn’t look the way I imagined.

I became so focused on the losses that I couldn’t see anything else.

Then my therapist challenged me.

She told me to make a list of everything I was gaining. Not just material things. She wanted me to go deeper and write down the feelings, opportunities, lessons, freedom, growth, and character that could come from this season.

So one morning, I sat down and started writing.

And honestly? I had to repent.

Because when I looked at the list, I realized I was gaining far more than I was losing.

The problem wasn’t my situation.

The problem was my perspective.

It’s amazing how quickly our minds can convince us that everything is falling apart when that isn’t actually the truth. That’s why the Bible tells us to take every thought captive. Some days I have to do that over and over again. Not because every thought is bad, but because not every thought is true.

Our minds have a powerful way of shaping how we see our lives.

That’s why I’m learning to zoom out.

To stop focusing on one thing not going according to plan.

To stop obsessing over the piece I can see and trust that God sees the entire picture.

Because sometimes we’re so focused on what we’re losing that we miss what we’re becoming.

Sometimes we’re so committed to our version of the story that we can’t see what God is trying to do through it.

And sometimes the blessing we’re praying for is hidden behind a perspective shift.

Please understand, I’m not writing this because I’ve mastered it.

I’m writing this because I’m learning it in real time.

Every day, I have to remind myself to zoom out and look at the bigger picture.

To remember that a closed door isn’t always a punishment.

That change isn’t always a loss.

That discomfort isn’t always a sign I’m heading in the wrong direction.

And if I’m being honest, there are still parts of this season I wouldn’t have chosen for myself.

There are still things I’m grieving.

There are still moments when I wish things looked different.

But I’ve learned that grieving what I wanted and embracing what is can exist at the same time.

Just because something isn’t what I wanted doesn’t mean it isn’t exactly what I need.

At some point, I have to stop staring at what could have been and start embracing what is.

Not because it’s easy.

Not because I understand it all.

But because I trust that God is doing something I can’t see yet.

Maybe that’s what it means to zoom out.

To stop focusing on the one piece of the picture that isn’t going your way and trust that God is still writing a story worth reading.