Learning to Let Go: What God Taught Me About Surrender, Control, and Trust
The Hardest Part Of Surrender Isn't Releasing What's In You Hands, It's Trusting God With What Comes Next
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Since I was a little girl, one thing I’ve always struggled with is letting go.
Whether it was my favorite clothes, sentimental keepsakes, or things tied to memories, I’ve always had a tendency to hold onto things long past their expiration date. Even now as an adult, letting go has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn.
It isn’t just about stuff either. Sometimes it’s a pair of boots that have walked through so many seasons with me. Other times it’s a relationship that I knew had run its course. Whatever it is, releasing something I’ve grown attached to has never come naturally.
But here’s what I’m learning: if we never let go, we never make room for what God is trying to bring into our lives.
And that’s hard.
This is probably why purging my closet is always such a struggle. Even though I do it, there’s always a part of me thinking, What if I need this one day? Maybe it was once my favorite outfit. Maybe I’ll have an event to wear it to. Maybe I’ll regret getting rid of it.
It’s funny how our closets can reveal what’s happening in our hearts.
Have you ever watched a little kid grab a toy and yell, “Mine!” Even if you’re the one who bought it, they’ll hold onto it with everything they have because, in their mind, it belongs to them.
Sometimes I think we do the same thing with God.
He asks us to release something, but we grip it tighter. We forget that everything we have is a gift from Him in the first place. Our relationships, careers, possessions, opportunities, even our gifts. Who are we to tell God “no” when He’s asking for something that already belongs to Him?
When I really think about it, my struggle isn’t just with letting go.
It’s with control.
The biggest reason I struggle is because I’m afraid of the unknown. If I knew exactly what I was getting in return, surrender would be easy.
If I knew that giving away my favorite pair of worn out boots meant I’d receive an even better pair tomorrow, I’d gladly let them go.
But what if I don’t?
That’s where fear creeps in.
It’s the same with jobs, friendships, relationships, or seasons of life. If I knew with 100% certainty that what was coming next would be better, I’d release what I have much faster.
But faith doesn’t work that way.
Sometimes God asks us to let go because He has something better. Other times He asks us to let go simply because He wants us to know Him more deeply, trust Him more fully, or discover who we are apart from the thing we’ve been holding onto.
Either way, His plans are always worth trusting because He promises that He works everything together for our good.
I’ve also realized that underneath my fear is something even deeper, a scarcity mindset.
Part of me worries that if I let go, I’ll end up with something not as good.
That lie has kept me holding onto relationships far longer than I should have. It convinced me that maybe this was as good as it gets. Maybe there isn’t better. Maybe I should just settle.
But that’s exactly what it is, a lie.
If you don’t believe God has more for you, you’ll settle for almost anything.
I’ve battled that mindset since I was a little girl. The mindset that says, “Take what you can get because this might be your only chance.”
But God has been teaching me a different way to think.
Instead of believing this is the best I’ll ever have, I’m learning to believe this is only the beginning.
Sometimes we actually do more damage by holding onto something than we would by letting it go.
The truth is, both holding on and letting go can be painful.
The difference is that one kind of pain keeps you stuck, while the other creates room for healing, growth, and whatever God has next.
There have even been seasons where God had to remove things from my life because He knew I never would’ve let go on my own.
I’ll let you into my business for a minute.
I stayed in a relationship nearly two years past its expiration date because I was afraid. I convinced myself I was protecting both of us from getting hurt, when in reality, staying caused far more damage than leaving ever would have.
Fear has a way of disguising itself as wisdom.
Another thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I can become delayed when it’s time to let something go. I’ll ask everyone for advice. I’ll pray. I’ll ask God for signs. I’ll journal. I’ll overthink every possible outcome until I feel completely certain.
Those aren’t bad things.
But I’ve learned that sometimes certainty isn’t coming.
Sometimes obedience comes before clarity.
There are moments when God simply wants us to trust Him enough to move. To release what’s in our hands and let Him either bless it or block it.
Delayed obedience is still disobedience.
Just like our closets tell us when it’s time to let go of old clothes, our hearts usually know when something has reached its expiration date.
There are signs.
There are nudges.
There are moments when the Holy Spirit keeps whispering, “It’s time.”
You may not understand why He’s asking you to release it, but you can trust the One who’s asking.
As I’ve grown in both age and faith, I’ve noticed something.
There has never been a single thing God asked me to surrender that He didn’t use for my good.
Sometimes He replaced it with something better.
Other times He replaced it with more peace.
More freedom.
More wisdom.
More of Himself.
Right now, I’m in another season of letting go, and honestly, it’s uncomfortable. But I’m learning that every goodbye creates space for a hello.
Every closed hand can become an open hand that’s finally able to receive what God has been trying to give all along.
I’m currently reading The Journey of Yes by Brenda Palmer. In Chapter 3, The Cost, she ends with two reflection questions that really challenged me:
* What is God asking you to surrender in this season?
* What fears make it difficult for you to fully obey God’s leading?
Those questions took me some time to answer honestly.
Maybe they’ll challenge you too.
So before you move on with your day, I want to leave you with this:
What are you still holding onto because you’re afraid of what life will look like without it?
Maybe it’s a relationship.
Maybe it’s a dream that no longer fits.
Maybe it’s control.
Maybe it’s fear.
Maybe it’s a habit.
Maybe it’s a belief.
Maybe it’s a version of yourself that God has outgrown.
Whatever it is, remember this: God has never asked you to let go just to leave you empty handed. Sometimes He asks us to release what’s familiar so He can fill our hands with what we actually need.
Don’t let fear keep you holding onto what God has already asked you to release.
Sometimes the life you’ve been praying for begins with letting go.
