Five Lessons Learned At 25
A Toast To Chapter 26
Year 25 was different. My biggest prayer was for God to reveal myself to myself. I wanted to see me from the inside, which isn’t always easy. Through prayer, journaling, fasting, and even therapy, God allowed me to see myself with a new lens. I was able to see the good, the bad and the ugly. Identifying is the first step. I did a lot in my year 25. Of course, I traveled, spent time with loved ones, and even took care of myself. Year 25, was a very interesting one. Although it was a roller coaster, I learned a lot. If I’m being honest, I had some fears, stepping into this new chapter. Something about the age 26, scared me. Maybe because my whole life I learned that 26 is a real adult age. I knew going into my 26 year, I would have to get my own insurance, which means that’s a piece of my parents leaving me. I also felt a little sad going into this new chapter, because I felt like I was being forced into adulthood. I know many people think 21 is when you are an adult, but for me 26 was symbolic. I felt like I had to have it all figured out. Maybe I felt uneasy about this new age because this was my third birthday I spent living back at home, when the goal was only one year. Even with the uneasy feelings I felt, I pushed thru. This year, my birthday fell on Resurrection Sunday. At first, that wasn’t a big deal, until the day before. If you didn’t know, I fasted for 40 days leading up to Resurrection Sunday. The fast was thru my church, Elizabeth Baptist, and my friend was the one that lead me to do it. We broke the fast together in prayer and fellowship and it was so amazing. This was the longest time I had ever fasted and although it was hard, it was great to do. I believe the fast, helped with my uneasy feelings I had towards my birthday. Also, allowing myself to sit in the feelings I was having, helped me process those feelings. As I was reflected on my feelings, I reflected on the previous year, 25. I wanted to share 5 major lessons I learned at age 25. It was extremely hard to narrow down only five, because year 25 brought me so many lessons that I’ll cherish forever.
1. You’re Waiting On God While He’s Waiting For You
This was a HUGE pill I had to swallow. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used the excuse that I’m waiting on God for certain things. Please don’t get me wrong, waiting on God is great, but how you’re waiting is key. Are you waiting and doing nothing? Are you waiting and still moving? Faith without work is dead. Are you waiting on God and being idle or waiting and being productive? God may be waiting on you to bust a move, so he can bless it. He’s waiting on you to move so he can show you his power. Whatever has been tugging on your heart for you to do, you need to go and do it. God wants you to take a step in the direction with faith and courage and he will meet you. He can’t bless the work that you never did. Take a step towards the thing you’re waiting on God for and watch Him work.
2. You Can’t Help Everybody All The Time
When it comes to people I care about, I don’t want them to want for ANYTHING. I have a savior complex that I’m currently working thru. I have such a huge giving heart and it also has some people pleasing mixed in to it. I will give my last dollar to someone and be without for myself. It’s great to give and help those in need, but don’t be the thing holding that person back from growing. I learned that sometimes people are venting and sharing things with you, just for a listening ear. You can’t fix everyones problems, that is God’s job not yours. I used to drive myself crazy trying to be everything to everybody while solving all their issues. Also, some people can use this to their advantage and use you. Be careful and mindful when trying to help everyone. I work thru this by asking myself why I’m helping this person, and it helps.
3. It’s Ok To Step Back & Disconnect From ALL Outside Influences
This world can be so influential. Whether it’s social media, tv, or just your friends/family, it’s easy to lose focus on what you truly want. I don’t know about you, but I struggle with this sometimes. Disconnecting regularly is key with this. Allow yourself time to sit with yourself and to focus on what it is that you truly want, without outside inputs. Confidence will help you not to be so influenced by outside things/people as well.
4. Sometimes You Are The Problem
Yup, you read that right. It’s not always everybody else, sometimes you’re standing in the way of you. Whether that be your mindset, habits, triggers, traumas, etc. sometimes it’s us that is the problem. I watched a video by Alex Elle, author of How We Heal, and she said, “No one talks about how sometimes it’s us. Sometimes we’re the problem. Sometimes we’re the toxic ones. Sometimes we’re the problematic ones. Sometimes our unwillingness to change, heal, and grow is the issue. Sometimes our triggers will keep us stuck in cycles we say we want to break.” When I tell you wanted to throw my phone, because she was talking directly to me. Think about that, it's not always everyone else. Identifying that the problem is you, is the first step.
5. Not Only Check Up On Your People, But Actually Show Up
This is something I’ve been practicing for about two years, but I really honed in for year 25. I’m not always good at checking on my friends and family, but I wanted to be better at it. While I was doing this, I learned that people love when you’re there physically too. What I mean is, celebrate their accomplishments, show up for birthdays and other special moments. For years, my mom has been telling me to pull my head out my own butt (you know what I mean) and understand that the world isn’t all about me. In year 25, I learned how to stop always only worrying about myself and what I have going on and to show up for those that I say I care about.
Year 25 was beautiful overall. I learned a lot about myself, my strengths and weakness, my triggers, my childhood experiences that still show up today and so much more. I’m excited to see what I learn in year 26. I know when you’re in the middle of things, it’s hard to see the testimony that will come out of it, but it always is. Life is about evolving and growing, the only way to do that is to live. I challenge you to live, no matter what age you are. Lessons are happening every single day. Whether your birthday has passed or is coming up, I challenge you to reflect on your previous age. I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to think if something BIG didn’t happen, I stayed the same. But that’s not true. It’s the small lessons that lead to growth. By doing this reflection, you’ll be able to see all the things you’ve overcome in the past year, that you may have forgotten. It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come. Birthdays are a beautiful time of growth and rebirth, but it’s easy to have feelings of uneasiness and even depression. Reflecting on the year before will help you work thru any feelings you may have towards turning this new age. Trust me, it works, I know it, because I tried it. Give it a try this year for your birthday and let me know if and how it helps you.
