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Friends With An Ex?
Dymond phillips • Jul 11, 2017
Let’s continue with this whole ex thing. Can anybody answer the million dollar question, Can you be friends with a ex after the break-up? Y'all know I had to ask twitter first. My boo who is no stranger to Dymonds Diary, Ken Ken (Kendal) first said, “Sometimes yes most times no.” After I asked her what does it depend on, she answered by saying, “I feel like if y'all didn't ended on bad terms and it’s more of a growing apart thing then y'all can be friends.” I completely understand that. If y'all both agreed it's best to break up, then yes a friendship can be there. Sometimes two people can be in a relationship but who are honestly meant to be only friends and that’s ok. Personally, I wouldn’t say I’m friends with my ex’s but if I see him I’ll speak. I have boyfriends who I was dating when I was young where it was just a title so if you count those as relationships thats on you. I have two adult relationships that I’ve been in, and I’m cool with both of them. I would only consider one, an actual friend though. I wish my ex’s nothing but the best, I love when I see them doing good. Everybody isn’t at that place yet, I think I am because I’m focused on me, and I would never wish bad on anybody. Another person who responded to my twitter question, was Yan, she said you can be friends with a ex. If y'all don't hate each other why can’t y'all be friends?” I love that last sentence because you shouldn’t hate anyone, not even an ex. One thing that my twitter question showed me is that a lot of men feel that ABSOLUTELY NOT under circumstances can they be friends with an ex. Every boy that answered said no. When I asked one, why not, he answered by saying, “Because if we were in a serious relationship for a long time I don’t want to see who she trying to be fake happy with or who she dealing with now.” That response had me shocked because I wondered, is this how a lot of boys feel? I don’t know his personal life, but whether he messed up or she did, after a while, you have to move on and accept why they left. I think that anybody with that mentality isn’t truly over that ex. But let’s be real if y'all ended on bad terms would you still want to be friends with them?
My answer is at first no, if I’m hurt I’m not going to want to be friends with you until I heal from the situation and move on with life however long that takes. I believe that onceI forgive the person and completely heal, then a friendship can be there or at least be associates. Moral of the story is until you forgive, heal, and move on with life I believe you can NOT be friends with any ex, or at least associates. Now when I say friends(associates) I’m not saying talking everyday, hanging out or nothing like that. I mean if y'all cross paths, can words be exchanged? I mean can you be in the same room with that person and hold a conversation? I’m saying can you wish good on your ex, if that makes sense. If you say you absolutely can not be associates with a ex, maybe you aren’t completely moved on or 100 percent healed from the situation, and that’s completely ok, It takes everybody different amounts of time to get over an ex. It can take: days, weeks, months, or even years. If you truly loved that person, it can take what feels like forever. I’m a strong believer that if you love somebody, you don’t stop loving them you just love them from distance. Just because you love them doesn't mean you're meant to be with that person. Look deep in your heart and see if you're over your ex, if not it’s completely natural. Time heals all wounds!
