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Not Some You Not Some Us
dymond phillips • Sep 18, 2017
This week I want to talk to y'all about distancing yourself in relationships. Now when I say relationships I don’t mean just boyfriend/girlfriend I mean friendships as well. Do you ever get to the place where you feel like blah. Like you’ve been doing a lot for everybody but not getting the same in return? When I say that, I don’t mean financially I mean giving in all aspects time energy support etc. Well, on Thursday, I received a message with this question. “What do I do when I’ve gotten everybody in my life comfortable with not giving me my equal?” When I reached back out to her asking her to go into detail she responded by saying, “I always give more, not even just money. And when it’s time for me to need somebody to lean on everybody is missing but I’ve allowed it for so long that it’s too late to change them.” This something I can relate to because I’ve had friends who didn’t have as much as me and boyfriends as well. Where I felt responsible for making up for what they lack.
First of all let me say, don’t feel bad for having more, tell them blame God. It was just the hand you were dealt and the way God shaped your life. It’s a difference between being humble and feeling bad for having more. Like you said you work two jobs, you’re in school, and you have your parents help. Everybody’s path isn't the same. If your friends attack you about having more they aren’t really your friends. Everybody has the same 24 hours in the day, if they don’t like their situation they should work everyday to change that
Second I want to say when I’m feeling like I’m giving too much with nothing in return I step back. I get back in my bubble and began to focus back on myself. Sometimes you have to distance yourself from people that don’t bring anything to your life. This is called me time. I'm pretty sure everybody remembers the song "Me Time" by Heather Headley. I love that song because it's a perfect example for how I feel when I have too much going on. That doesn’t mean you're ending the friendship/relationship it just means you’re taking a step back or a break. During this distance, think about if this person is adding to your life or taking. Any relationship/friendship should be give and take. if you’re always their for people and nobody is ever there for you they serve no purpose in your life. Also during this break if you’re religious, ask God to remove anybody from your life that isn’t meant or that has already served their purpose.
Truth is once you stop doing for a person, it’ll show you if their really meant to be in your life or if they are just there to take the perks. I know it must be hard to always listen to people but in return nobody seems to be available to listen when it’s time for you to talk. Just evaluate the people around you. Just because you allowed it doesn't mean you can’t break the habit. It’s never too late. Lastly, have you tried just asking your friends why they're never around when you need them, their response will help you determine if they’re real friends. I have faith in you, and if you ever need to talk I’m here.
